Mothers Day 2016: Setting the Example
I’m not a natural Mom.
Being a mom is the most challenging, yet intuitive role of my life. It’s hard as hell and on any given day I struggle with what’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t come naturally for me.
There’s no school. No degree. No instructions at the hospital. There are books to read but honesty they’re kind of crap.
In the 9 years of being a Mom have I ever thought “This is just so natural to me.”? Not. Once.
Hell, I don’t even think I’m a great Mom.
I go to the school of “How can I help create a happy, healthy, human being who can love who they are and make it on a world that will try to make him into something else?”
As a parent, that’s not a small task, and yet, maybe it’s easier than we realize.
This past year has been an evolving one for me as a woman and a mom. The more I step back and look at this past year, the more I realize how my own journey is connected to Logan’s.
We feel it all.
Some days that’s amazing and others it’s a burden.
As a 39 year old woman I have skills and tools and self awareness to know when I’ve taken on too much, need quiet, alone time or simply need a good cry.
When life is too loud, I get quiet and need rest. When technology is draining me, I close the laptop and put the phone away. When I’m sad, I know I need a good cry and a good night’s sleep. And when someone makes me feel “off” I know enough to steer clear of them.
As a 9 year old, your don’t know those things yet.
As a mom of a little boy who feels the same things I do, it is my job to show him, protect him, teach him and accept him for the big hearted love bug that he is.
As a male who is the way he is, the road may be a bit tougher. For his Dad and I, that’s a reality that we’re seeing unfold already.
I’ve been witness to the dark side of being an open hearted young boy- other boys calling him names, people labeling him based on stereotypes and a school environment that doesn’t quite fit.
I’ve gotten pretty good at reading his emotions and signals so I can be his environmental advocate (quiet time is both of our friends ;))
Over the past few years I’ve changed quite a bit. Each year bringing a new perspective on the woman I’d like to be and have always been.
This past year I highlighted my hair pink. As a family we had a discussion around ‘How will you feel if someone makes fun of your mom’s hair?’ Which then lead to the conversation ‘If people think pink hair is weird, maybe they think people who like Star War are weird? What would we say to that? How would that make you feel?’
By standing in my own truth, and in our truth as a family, we were able to have an open conversation with Logan about standing in his own truth.
I want to be an example that embracing who we truly are isn’t weird or strange, but should be embraced, celebrated and the norm.
In this home:
We call ourselves weird
We call ourselves nerds.
We call ourselves different.
We call ourselves feelers and love bugs.
As a family, we are empowered to label ourselves so that when someone places those labels on us in an attempt to hurt, we already own them as a symbol of pride.
In this home different is good.
We feel more.
We love more.
We choose joy.
We embrace being ourselves.
And we sure as hell don’t do things to fit in, we do them to be the most true to ourselves. Not everyone will like us, and that’s just part of life, so it’s even more important to like ourselves even more.
When I say I’m not a natural mom I mean that in the way that I really have no clue some days what I ‘should’ do as a mom. I just go with my gut. I allow my life to reflect what I would wish for my baby.
Maybe I’m messing up. Maybe not. Either one can happen on any give day.
With each passing day, I want more and more for my son to be comfortable with who he is and love himself for it. And the best way I can be the greatest Mom for him, is to reflect those values myself.
So this Mother’s Day I celebrate my own journey of love and acceptance of myself and how that is a lesson and reflection for my little buddy.
I may not be the best Mom, but I will continue to work on being the best version of myself on any given day. And by doing so, I show Logan that he too can be the best version of himself regardless of what the world may tell him.
And to all of the Mom’s out there celebrating Mother’s Day, here’s to each of us following our guts, being our truest version of ourselves and inspiring our little friends along the way.
May we all love each other more- starting with ourselves.
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